Substituting and bad movies

So today as I was teaching at White Pine middle I thought of all of my teaching experiences. I think I will be very glad when this job is over. It's been very convenient for college but it can be VERY tough sometimes. The constant questions of "wait do we have to do this" (no i just passed it out for fun, YES) "teacher he started it" "can we leave early" "but the teacher always lets us run around the room when we're done" and my personal favorite, "Please don't write my name down, I just like to be funny." I thought this child was bold for declaring himself a comedian and for thinking that would actually get him out of being in trouble. It was a noble effort. I appreciate when students are completely honest as to why they are misbehaving, if they straight up tell me they just think the assignment sucks or they don't want to behave its much better than silly excuses. Not to say my job is always bad, it definitely has some pretty great moments. Students can be so cute and draw me pictures, behave very well, be funny or just plain good. After thinking about all of my crazy good and bad experiences I've had teaching, I decided to recount my all time favorite experience.

One time i was substituting at Mountaincrest High school. This school is out in the boonies of Hyrum. It has some very interesting students, and I've never been to a school that actually teaches agriculture, engines (presumably for tractors) smells like a cow, and its perfectly normal to see a student in wranglers and a cowboy hat. One of the many adjustments I've had to make to Cache Valley. So anyway one time I was teaching a science class. The last hour the teacher had the genius idea to make students watch a movie entitled "Sexual encounters of the plant kind" My first thought at seeing this was why in the HECK would a teacher use any material that remotely even mentioned, even alluded to sex in a highschool class????? Usually the word sex in appropriate uses such as what is your sex referring to male or female sends students into uproarious giggles. The actual use of the word in the context of sex is even worse. As a mostly mature college student, even I couldn't help a giggle at that title. Imagine what happened when i had to tell the students completely serious, "today we will be watching a movie entitled Sexual encounters of the plant kind" I don't think I even got the S in sex out before horrified faces, giggles and nudges erupted in the classroom. Of course this movie was on some crazy CD thing that looked like a record just showing how ancient it was and of course how terrible it was. It began with a stuffy British narrator such as on the BBC but ten times more dull than any boring science movie you ever had to watch. Words like stamen, mating, opening her petals, having both male and female parts and a full barrage of sexual references flooded off the screen like a heavy downpour. In addition to sexual innuendos this movie was so boring it would put even a science PHD student to sleep. The students were completely out of control as they couldn't focus/ slash couldn't stop laughing and making sexual jokes. About at this point, a particularly unruly student decided that his best option for ending the torment was to attempt to climb out the window. I was so shocked and awed that he would do this I decided to just let him try. I gave him props for creativity and thinking he could actually fit out the window. I really couldn't even punish him because honestly the idea did sound appealing. Finally I decided this was ridiculous and if a teacher doesn't care enough to choose legitimately worthwhile movies that would be meaningful to students, I'm not going to force them to watch it. As it was a botany class I took the students outside for some plant observation in the garden. I knew 75% would wander off and never come back but I figured it was better than forcing them to watch this horrendous movie. It was a rather sad day for students and teacher alike.

Moments like this are both very bad and very memorable. Usually even though they can be quite bad i can at least get a pretty good laugh out of it. I have had some legitimately terrible days, one day i left in tears because the students were so bad. I actually got so frustrated and angry I couldn't speak because if i did i wouldn't be able to control my mouth, i wrote all instructions on the board. Truly they were that bad, nothing can get you like a 13 year old back talking. I can't even describe the voice that every one uses when they say "no your not the teacher." It really is bad, every middle school aged child no matter how good they are sometimes can not control the pubescent monster that hides in them. It doesn't matter how good a student they are, it always comes out eventually and for some it happens on a minute to minute basis. All bad experiences (mostly in middle school) aside, Subbing really can be fun. I think I've come a very long way since the first time i subbed at north cache jr. high and the students ate me alive like a pack of wolfs. I've learned how to control the class and think quickly on my feet. Highschool is always entertaining and elementary school is even more so. I suppose I will miss this job in a few months, but for now I'm looking forward to a new path in May. Hopefully something good will come up :)